Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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