My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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