I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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