we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I can't put those talents on a resume
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
