sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
