Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
