So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
