YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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