Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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