you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
