He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
My balls are so social today.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
