Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
