Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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