WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
