everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
