Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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