I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
