I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
