We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
