And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
