is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Randomize
