i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
