You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
