Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
