maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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