The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
this hospital has no fireball
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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