Dual....:-)
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
