i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
this boner is exhausting
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
