apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
