Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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