I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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