I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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