I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
