if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
His hands were made for my vagina.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
