Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
