Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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