he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
