Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
