What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
