Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
