he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
