And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
