Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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