Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
