you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
