now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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