this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
