I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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