Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
