I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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